stress management anxiety reductionStress management anxiety reduction By definition, anxiety is painful or apprehensive uneasiness of the mind. Not a whole lot to work with there Webster's Collegiate Dictionary! How do we go about discovering the root cause of this uneasiness? What tools can we use to learn about ourselves to solve the underlying problems? Call me Miss fix it but I'm one to tackle the mess at the base of an issue, not one to just put a bandage on top. This inquisitiveness regarding a desire to help people with problem solving and healing emotional wounds led to a Masters Degree in Counseling. I honestly use my "counseling tools" every single day. I honestly have to say that yoga has been the most effective tool that I have found to promote stress management and to reduce anxiety. That's right, yoga is a tool, It's like a users guide for your body and mind.
Have you ever noticed how a hard days work (in the garden let's say) leaves the body feeling "sore" in a good way. Barring a major catastrophe the mind is calm and rejuvenated. Yet a hard days work at the office leaves you mentally fried, you can't seem to let things rest, you lay awake at night thinking about the "problems?" What is the difference? STRESS and ANXIETY Utilizing stress management techniques allows the mind and body to approach the state of equilibrium again. Blood pressure lowers back to your normal level, your mind is calm and restful.
Stress management begins with the fact that we need to identify what makes us anxious. The following represents one of the activities for stress management we can use as we become knowledgeable about ourselves. Ask yourself these questions, answer honestly:
These questions tell a lot about how you function in relationships, your quality of life, your perception of control of your life and your generalized sense of self esteem. In my counseling practice, these issues were the most common triggers of anxiety and stress.
I understand/agree that I have limited control over my life and the world around me. Circle of influence is what this is referring to. What we are really in control of is quite small. Our choice of food and level of socialization, our jobs and hobbies. To a lesser extent our health (genetic predisposition plays a role here) and family relationships. Our relationship to control and our reaction over "losing control" need to be reviewed. If we know and accept that we have to surrender to forces that be sometimes, we can accept when things don't go our way. After all, how do we know if our way is best? I Don't let the small stuff get to me, minor disturbances (getting cut off in traffic, people cutting in front of you at the store, etc). Catching a reaction to a stresor before it becomes an issue is key here. Joel Osteen,a famous preacher refers to this as not letting a situation or person "steal your power." How simply put, your power is in part your choice to reactor not. I look at challenges and changes in life a growth experiences and as new beginnings. Are you so afraid of change or attached to your routine that changes produce anxiety. What exactly are you afraid of? I have a job that I enjoy and would continue to do if I had a choice to change to another job. A primary indicator in a person's return to work time following an accident is their sense of job satisfaction. People who did not enjoy their jobs did not want to return, people who loved their jobs couldn't wait to get back. If you don't love your job, at least understand that it is a source of income, do your best and appreciate the opportunity to work. Seek out hobbies that you love to supplement your sense of happiness. I am in a relationship that brings positive energy and vitality to my life. Personal relationships can be the fodder for many late night comedians and the reality is that it takes work to make them work. If this relationship provides satisfaction and a sense of security we are happy to stay. If it brings heartache, stress and unhappiness we wish to be with someone else. The divorce rate is skyrocketing and families are destroyed and broken. What part do we have to play in creating the stress in our relationships? Can we really step back and look at how we can accept what we can't change to bring about peace? I have friendships and people who support me and accept me for who I am. Perception of loneliness is the number one indicator oh heart disease, how ironic! Do our relationships life us up or bring us down? How do we contribute to the overall state of our friendships? Do we do a good job of enriching others lives and supporting them too? It is better to give than receive! I tend to dwell on past mistakes, often reliving feelings of failure and frustration. Are we trapped in a rut of regret and living in the past? Let it go, be present LIVE in the now. Regretting the past is the present slipping away, catch it, love it! I have a hard time forgiving others, I tend to keep a chip on my shoulder toward this person. This is a huge one! Forgiveness is cathartic in it's own right. Allowing pain and anger to dissipate by letting go of old triggers and memories will allow us to live in the present, and to be happy. I place expectations on others and I am disappointed when they do not perform to my expectations. This is especially true for my familial relationships. Oh how many times do we get mad when someone doesn't pick up on our "psychic" desire to have them pick up this or do that. SPEAK up and ask for help! Don't assume that everyone thinks of your needs and desires first. I think that I am pretty smart and I know what is best. Please, leave a little room for new knowledge here. As wonderfully equipt as we may be the old saying "there is always someone out there that is smarter, richer and thinner than I" holds true. Being humble and allowing for mistakes is part of life. Embrace the ability to let someone teach you something. I am open to new ideas and opinions from others and appreciate the ability to learn something new. Really? Are you really patient and open minded or do you just nod your head and do what you want? I can accept constructive criticism without defensiveness and take responsibility for my actions. This is where we all could use a little help. Step back, take a big cleansing breath and smile. Think before you speak and really listen. Respond less and listen more. Make it your mantra when accepting feedback. We are well on our way to understanding how to tackle the foundation of anxiety, how to reduce it and how to manage stress.
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